As the streets of a small town an hour after 9. So is the extent of the loneliness that lies heavily upon my soul. Empty. Tired. Worn past its use. Though it might have at one time been awake, the evidence of such a state of activity, of life, of the precious eudiamonia have blown away with the constant beating of the hot dry dusty wind.
Shhh. Can you hear it? It is the sound of silence. . . . nothingness . . . . emptiness.
It is the seductive absence of anything good, beautiful, right.
If all is right, if the conditions are just right with the wind blowing at just the right speed at the right vector and all else is so and so, there is a whisper.
It is the whisper of death, of victory. Do hope you should not hear it.
Oh the sting of the sin.
Oh the victory of the death.
It is too awful to bear . . to imagine, yet even to catch the slightest scent or the scantest tone.
It has a beating rhythm to it. Like the bell in the tower in one of the many scattered about town, crying out to remind the pitiful souls that
it is true and it is inevitable.
Yes, one more hour of our miserable existence has passed.
We are all one more hour closer to death, to eternal slumber, to the so-called “eternal sunshine of the spotless mind”.
Or so we hope.
The whisper strikes the drum of my ear at such a manifold as if I am within the bell tower as it tolls the time.
My head aches with the vibrations of the merciless sound.
It tears through my substance and my soul shaking the foundation of my very being.
It is neither quick, nor slow. It is only tenacious at its perfect deadly pace, wearing those who hear down until the inevitable.
My soul knows not whether to cry out in bitter agony at such a state or to rejoice that there is an inevitable. If death is nirvana, then it should be a more merciful fate than this, waiting, hating, listening, feeling the depth of my soul, the weight of solitude that breaks the back.
Can you hear the whisper? Do hope you should not.
Oh the sting of the sin and the victory of death.
It beckons, oh how it beckons. Shall I come? This place smells of solitude and the grit in my eyes from the tenacious wind distracts only for a minute and the question, the whisper, the bell toll remains.
Shall I come? Oh the loneliness.
Friday, November 06, 2009
Monday, July 27, 2009
Sin as Anorexia: Self-Loathing in Human Nature
Isaiah 55:1-3 “Come, everyone who thirsts, come to the waters; and he who has no money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without price. Why do you spend your money for that which is not bread, and your labor for that which does not satisfy? Listen diligently to me, and eat what is good, and delight yourselves in rich food. Incline your ear, and come to me; hear, that your soul may live; and I will make with you an everlasting covenant, my steadfast, sure love for David.
Now there is much talk about the self in today’s society, ruled by humanist and relativist philosophy and worldviews. There has been a much criticized trend toward building the self-esteems of individuals, especially in children and public schools. Implicit within this trend is an assumption that the real problems in the world are caused because people don’t know how valuable they are or if they will just believe in themselves, they will achieve and produce more. Most importantly, they will be happy. If we can just be satisfied with ourselves, we will be happy. Psychology as a discipline has adopted this model in its Rogerian humanist school of thought and its concepts of unconditional positive regard.
As someone who barely even begins to understand and recognize the deep evil that resides and motivates within him, I am skeptical of such a philosophy. Personally, there are two difficulties in my acceptance of such an idea. First, when I am realistic in my assessment of my own self and its intrinsic worth, I find little to merit love. Second, I have found that much of my evil and mean-spiritedness is motivated and encouraged by a self-love. I love to make much of myself at the expense of others and, even worse, God who is more than worthy of all praise and glory.
However, I think there is something to this concept of self-love, though it must be tweaked. If Isaiah 55 is right and Psalm 16:11’s declaration that in God’s presence is fullness of joy, then is it not most loving to present myself to the presence of God as fully and much as I am able. If I dare to feed myself anything less than the finest of pleasures, foods, and satisfactions, I am not loving myself. Just like C.S. Lewis points out, the boy is foolish who retired himself to the sandbox when the beach is offered. Lewis as well as Piper make the point that it is not that we long for pleasure and satisfaction that is the problem, it is the fact that we are too easily satisfied.
When I return to my sin like a dog to its vomit, it then follows that my love for myself is not very great. If I truly love myself, I will not settle until I am satisfied with the richest of foods and pleasures. If I hate myself, I will be satisfied with the vomit of yesterday’s trash. We recognize this self-hatred often In women who remain with abusive men or in the drug addicts but fail to recognize this tendency as an universal or in the anorexic teen. God has revealed the way of truth and happiness, the way of shalom. However, we sin because we hate ourselves.
The solution, then, is not to manufacture some kind of love based upon the intrinsic merit of the individual, for this only leads to continued dissatisfaction and disillusionment. Instead, we must recognize our most miserable state and that the richest of pleasures and satisfactions are found in the Creator and Redeemer God. Our only hope to be reconciled to this God in whom the richest and fullest of joys are found is through the cross of Jesus Christ and his most precious blood. Like 1 John 4:10, “In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.” We must love ourselves to accept such a love for it is a love that is more necessary for our existence than food and even life itself. So may we stop hating ourselves, starving ourselves when there is a feast to be had, prepared by the Creator and Satisfier of our souls for the celebration of the glory of Jesus Christ. Christ’s glory is revealed in his infinite, steadfast, sacrificial love for us, the elect. It is then our highest joy and pleasure and greatest demonstration of our self-love to give Jesus all the glory and to worship the King for all eternity.
Now there is much talk about the self in today’s society, ruled by humanist and relativist philosophy and worldviews. There has been a much criticized trend toward building the self-esteems of individuals, especially in children and public schools. Implicit within this trend is an assumption that the real problems in the world are caused because people don’t know how valuable they are or if they will just believe in themselves, they will achieve and produce more. Most importantly, they will be happy. If we can just be satisfied with ourselves, we will be happy. Psychology as a discipline has adopted this model in its Rogerian humanist school of thought and its concepts of unconditional positive regard.
As someone who barely even begins to understand and recognize the deep evil that resides and motivates within him, I am skeptical of such a philosophy. Personally, there are two difficulties in my acceptance of such an idea. First, when I am realistic in my assessment of my own self and its intrinsic worth, I find little to merit love. Second, I have found that much of my evil and mean-spiritedness is motivated and encouraged by a self-love. I love to make much of myself at the expense of others and, even worse, God who is more than worthy of all praise and glory.
However, I think there is something to this concept of self-love, though it must be tweaked. If Isaiah 55 is right and Psalm 16:11’s declaration that in God’s presence is fullness of joy, then is it not most loving to present myself to the presence of God as fully and much as I am able. If I dare to feed myself anything less than the finest of pleasures, foods, and satisfactions, I am not loving myself. Just like C.S. Lewis points out, the boy is foolish who retired himself to the sandbox when the beach is offered. Lewis as well as Piper make the point that it is not that we long for pleasure and satisfaction that is the problem, it is the fact that we are too easily satisfied.
When I return to my sin like a dog to its vomit, it then follows that my love for myself is not very great. If I truly love myself, I will not settle until I am satisfied with the richest of foods and pleasures. If I hate myself, I will be satisfied with the vomit of yesterday’s trash. We recognize this self-hatred often In women who remain with abusive men or in the drug addicts but fail to recognize this tendency as an universal or in the anorexic teen. God has revealed the way of truth and happiness, the way of shalom. However, we sin because we hate ourselves.
The solution, then, is not to manufacture some kind of love based upon the intrinsic merit of the individual, for this only leads to continued dissatisfaction and disillusionment. Instead, we must recognize our most miserable state and that the richest of pleasures and satisfactions are found in the Creator and Redeemer God. Our only hope to be reconciled to this God in whom the richest and fullest of joys are found is through the cross of Jesus Christ and his most precious blood. Like 1 John 4:10, “In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.” We must love ourselves to accept such a love for it is a love that is more necessary for our existence than food and even life itself. So may we stop hating ourselves, starving ourselves when there is a feast to be had, prepared by the Creator and Satisfier of our souls for the celebration of the glory of Jesus Christ. Christ’s glory is revealed in his infinite, steadfast, sacrificial love for us, the elect. It is then our highest joy and pleasure and greatest demonstration of our self-love to give Jesus all the glory and to worship the King for all eternity.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Living and Longing in Reality
Matthew 17:1-8. And after six days Jesus took with him Peter and James, and John his brother, and led them up a high mountain by themselves. 2 And he was transfigured before them, and his face shone like the sun, and his clothes became white as light. 3 And behold, there appeared to them Moses and Elijah, talking with him.4 And Peter said to Jesus, “Lord, it is good that we are here. If you wish, I will make three tents here, one for you and one for Moses and one for Elijah.” 5 He was still speaking when, behold, a bright cloud overshadowed them, and a voice from the cloud said, “This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased; listen to him.”6 When the disciples heard this, they fell on their faces and were terrified. 7 But Jesus came and touched them, saying, “Rise, and have no fear.” 8 And when they lifted up their eyes, they saw no one but Jesus only.
It is, however, of the utmost importance that we be grounded in reality. No matter the magnitude or sheer depth of the experience, we remain fallen, yet redeemed creatures. We still must put to death the flesh in every moment that the Spirit might rule in its rightful place. And the world remains fallen, groaning for redemption. When we are confronted with the present state of things having been to the very throne room of God, we must not become disillusioned or begin to think that we are somehow above everything else. Instead, we praise God that we are not home yet, that we are indeed aliens and strangers, ambassadors to the world serving a far greater and glorious king and kingdom. We must continue to beg of the Lord to sanctify us by His Spirit that we may glorify and experience Him greater and greater. Let us treasure those moments upon the mountaintop but let us labor and strive to be faithful even when all hope for anything transcendent or glorious has long passed. May we walk humbly as well, recognizing our continuing desperate need of Jesus and his cross. In fact, if we have been on the mountaintop, in the throne room of God, humility is the truest response after pure admiration and worship. May we be as Isaiah in the throne room of God, declaring our unworthiness. And after the Lord has sanctified us once again, let us be sent to the world remembering the glorious presence of the Lord, never losing the sweet taste of it on our lips and never ceasing to beg for the quick return of the rightful King Jesus Christ our Lord.
Saturday, March 11, 2006
What is Truth?
"Jesus said to him 'I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.'" (John 14:6). In a society that is so confused about the truth, these words offer a declaration about what is true and what is right. Jesus says that he is THE truth, not A truth or SOME truth. No, He is the truth. Christ is absolute truth. All other truths evolve from THE absolute truth of Christ.
It is interesting for me as I sit in my Philosophy 1301 class to hear and study all of these different ideas and philosophies that have been proposed by the human race. As I read of Plato and his belief in the truth of ideas, there is something lacking. There is nothing for those of us who are simple and common. As I read about Aristotle and his belief in the material world, I see creation all around me, yet there is still something missing. Nietszche and his nihilism are attractive to the cynic in me. I agree that it would appear that there is no purpose on Earth because everything will come to an end, and where do our toils bring us? But, where is the hope in this argument? Even with Kant telling us we should be moral for the sake of being moral or Mill explaining that whatever feels good is best, there is truth. But, they all seem to be lacking a key element that is essential for the fulfillment of my soul.
I believe that there are many parts of the Truth that can be found. Such as, there are protons, neutrons, and electrons in the atom. Every living thing needs water. Four plus three is seven. The sun produces heat that makes life possible on this planet. There are even truths that can be found in every religion. If this was not true, then no one would believe them. Buddha points out that there is suffering and the path to the cessation of suffering is a long journey. Islam teaches that humans are sinful, and Allah is to be glorified. Existentialism preaches to people that they should live for the moment. Scientology practices a renewing of the mind to find a peace. There are truths in all of these. However, they are all the result of the manipulation of the whole Truth. They will always be just part of the truth.
For Nietszche to tell me that morals are created by societies, there is some internal law in my soul that so contradicts this relative ethicism that I just can't believe it. When I do something contrary to the law of God, I know it and feel it in every part of my soul, heart, and mind. There must be an absolute and a purpose to life. When I think of Kant and his morality for the sake of morality, I wonder if there is anything deeper and more meaningful. Why be moral if there is not some external motivation or reward? In fact, I can't be moral for the sake of being moral. I am too selfish and depraved. There must be some kind of transition in my will for me to desire what is right. I believe that if I hadn't found the pleasures of Christ, I probably would be a follower of Mill. There is something in me as in everyone that wants to be happy and fulfilled. The principle of utility makes perfectly good logical sense to me. In fact, when you observe the different philosophers, their main impetus was a yearning for pleasure. Kant thought he would find pleasure in moral law. Nietszche believed that pleasure would be found in the living of moment to moment. All humanity yearns and seeks for pleasure. But we know that the seeking of pleasure can lead to immorality which leads to chaos. There can be no pleasure in chaos. So where and what is the Truth?
I believe that Christ is the answer to this question. Christ brings together all of the truths of these different philosophies and is the fulfillment to them. For Plato, all truth and wisdom comes from the Lord, the giver of wisdom (Pr. 2:6). For Aristotle, there is the truth that every piece of creation points to the Creator and glorifies His name (Ps. 72:19). For Nietszche, there is no truth or purpose apart from Christ. If there was no Christ, there would be no hope and all would be for naught (Eccl. 2:10,11). In Kant, there is truth that Christ has justified the elect so that we are justified under the moral law and the Spirit continually sanctifies us to look, think, and act like Christ so that we take joy in the law of God (Ps. 119:70). In Mill, there is the truth that every human wants to grasp hold of pleasure and happiness. There is no pleasure or happiness on this Earth though that is not temporal or empty. We are called to find The Pleasure in God and God alone (Ps. 37:4). This is the flourishing life. Any life apart from Christ will not fulfill.
The Truth is Christ. The absolute Truth is found in the Word of God. There is a desire in each and every one of us for something absolute. This desire will only be filled by Christ. Until the love and Truth of Christ is made real to us through the manifestation of Truth in the Word and the Truth in the cross, there is no truth but the truth of the world that we have built around us, our own custom tailored reality. In this reality, there is no life. For not only is Christ the Truth, Christ is the Life.
It is interesting for me as I sit in my Philosophy 1301 class to hear and study all of these different ideas and philosophies that have been proposed by the human race. As I read of Plato and his belief in the truth of ideas, there is something lacking. There is nothing for those of us who are simple and common. As I read about Aristotle and his belief in the material world, I see creation all around me, yet there is still something missing. Nietszche and his nihilism are attractive to the cynic in me. I agree that it would appear that there is no purpose on Earth because everything will come to an end, and where do our toils bring us? But, where is the hope in this argument? Even with Kant telling us we should be moral for the sake of being moral or Mill explaining that whatever feels good is best, there is truth. But, they all seem to be lacking a key element that is essential for the fulfillment of my soul.
I believe that there are many parts of the Truth that can be found. Such as, there are protons, neutrons, and electrons in the atom. Every living thing needs water. Four plus three is seven. The sun produces heat that makes life possible on this planet. There are even truths that can be found in every religion. If this was not true, then no one would believe them. Buddha points out that there is suffering and the path to the cessation of suffering is a long journey. Islam teaches that humans are sinful, and Allah is to be glorified. Existentialism preaches to people that they should live for the moment. Scientology practices a renewing of the mind to find a peace. There are truths in all of these. However, they are all the result of the manipulation of the whole Truth. They will always be just part of the truth.
For Nietszche to tell me that morals are created by societies, there is some internal law in my soul that so contradicts this relative ethicism that I just can't believe it. When I do something contrary to the law of God, I know it and feel it in every part of my soul, heart, and mind. There must be an absolute and a purpose to life. When I think of Kant and his morality for the sake of morality, I wonder if there is anything deeper and more meaningful. Why be moral if there is not some external motivation or reward? In fact, I can't be moral for the sake of being moral. I am too selfish and depraved. There must be some kind of transition in my will for me to desire what is right. I believe that if I hadn't found the pleasures of Christ, I probably would be a follower of Mill. There is something in me as in everyone that wants to be happy and fulfilled. The principle of utility makes perfectly good logical sense to me. In fact, when you observe the different philosophers, their main impetus was a yearning for pleasure. Kant thought he would find pleasure in moral law. Nietszche believed that pleasure would be found in the living of moment to moment. All humanity yearns and seeks for pleasure. But we know that the seeking of pleasure can lead to immorality which leads to chaos. There can be no pleasure in chaos. So where and what is the Truth?
I believe that Christ is the answer to this question. Christ brings together all of the truths of these different philosophies and is the fulfillment to them. For Plato, all truth and wisdom comes from the Lord, the giver of wisdom (Pr. 2:6). For Aristotle, there is the truth that every piece of creation points to the Creator and glorifies His name (Ps. 72:19). For Nietszche, there is no truth or purpose apart from Christ. If there was no Christ, there would be no hope and all would be for naught (Eccl. 2:10,11). In Kant, there is truth that Christ has justified the elect so that we are justified under the moral law and the Spirit continually sanctifies us to look, think, and act like Christ so that we take joy in the law of God (Ps. 119:70). In Mill, there is the truth that every human wants to grasp hold of pleasure and happiness. There is no pleasure or happiness on this Earth though that is not temporal or empty. We are called to find The Pleasure in God and God alone (Ps. 37:4). This is the flourishing life. Any life apart from Christ will not fulfill.
The Truth is Christ. The absolute Truth is found in the Word of God. There is a desire in each and every one of us for something absolute. This desire will only be filled by Christ. Until the love and Truth of Christ is made real to us through the manifestation of Truth in the Word and the Truth in the cross, there is no truth but the truth of the world that we have built around us, our own custom tailored reality. In this reality, there is no life. For not only is Christ the Truth, Christ is the Life.
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